To live life fully is to push through fear. Apparently. One of my biggest challenges. My biggest weight or counter weight that pulls me back. Pulls me over. Down. 

We're living in an era of muck. Of tired rhetoric and antiquated unchallenged belief systems. I believe this to be a long drawn out history of ignoring the wounds. The cracks and rotting structures. The very foundation that we have built is now crumbling. Has crumbled. 

This should not come as any surprise as we view the current political leadership. Lack of a better word as leadership usually suggests moving forward. Leading, the ship. This ship is not sailing nor is it sinking. It sits on frozen water. Frozen by fear. Fear of the winds of change. 

To move forward one must move through fear. Easier said than done as fear is part of our genetic code. Part of our survival. Our brain's innate duty to keep us safe, to keep our body preserved and therefore guarantee the procreation of the species. The pack. 

Interesting how this works in our mind and body but not in our reality. In reality there are those who wish to extract certain species. Certain ways of thinking and being. This is counter intuitive. Inducing the very fear we wish to avoid. In this case, fear feeds fear.

So in knowing this, this must be more about the ego. I am right therefore you must be wrong. But again the ego is mechanism, a system for self preservation. Which brings us back to fear. The ego wants what it wants as fear demands it. Fear is the boogie man as ego is the preening peacock. Each feeds off the other. The ever present, ever historic dance of self preservation. 

But what exactly are we preserving at this point? Maybe that is the point. Preservation. To preserve what we believe to be desired. To set aside safely what we deem preservable. Important. Self preservation. Which not surprisingly brings us back to fear. 

Perhaps this is our lesson here. Our learning as we dig and sift through the Titanic. The fear of loss. Losing what we have historically preserved but forgot, yet again. Our humanity. But this too seems to tie right back to the ever present, fear. When was our humanity ever really healthy and whole? Fear seems not to lean towards humanity as a whole but to the individual within the pack. Though fear is something we all share it seems to also divide. The individual within the community under the umbrella of humanity. 

Could this then all come down to the contrast of social doctrines and genetics? The friction between mind, body and socio-political belief systems that do not do us true justice. That do not actually preserve but cause us decay. Is it possible that our fear is telling us something? To listen to our fears, as again fear is our preservation. Our ship on water. Waiting. 

As the saying goes. The only thing to fear is fear itself. 

CB 11/28/17