Identifying Spice

My path in life seems to to be an ongoing search and rescue. Search and discover. Many years ago I had a tattoo placed on my forearm. A layering of compass, target, arrow and path. Little did I know how true to my life this sketch is. How engraved not only on my skin but in my mind this was. My need to discover. To pin point. Mark. 

I equate it to trying to identify a spice or a missing spice. I don't know what it is but I like it. I don't know what it is but it's missing. This to me points to emotion. To the satisfying of need and desire. Satiation. It speaks to a bigger picture, perhaps a yearning. A need to pair mind with emotion. Present with future. Seeing the horizon from the current path and succumbing to the desire of its pull. The desire of knowing. 

This I think is my driving force. What I live for. Like the Treky I am, to seek out. To boldly go. Or at least stumble forward, phasers on stun. 

Inspiration and curiosity are what move me. My compassed spirit, inner road map. It is without exaggeration what turns me on. Read to me and I'm yours. Point to the future and you'll have me forever. Show me that spark in your eyes and I share you my pounding heart. My secret map and plan. Strategy to overtake the present. Trojan horse for the future. 

I sometimes have dreams where I awake only to find I am sleeping. Disorienting at best. This is my psyche telling of my need. Telling me to keep moving steadfastly forward. Phoenix before the flame. Soldier in the ongoing fight of desires and needs. Hierarchies. This again, is no exaggeration. No novella. It is my mind, emotion and body playing Twister, Ouija Board, Solitaire on the train. There is no app for this. No book. No written or spoken word to describe the spice of life I'm searching.

Inspiration goes beyond amore fate~a love of fate. Or beyond hope as Liea Organa has said, "Hope is like the sun. If you believe in it when you see it, you'll never make it through the night." Inspiration is slingshot and pellet, word and action. What propels and what pulls. The inner drive of desire and physical touch. It is antagonist as well as pragmatic romantic. Political activist and choir. It is for me, blood vessels and blood. 

CB 01/07/18